U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
