you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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