i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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