oh god the rape fog is back!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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