By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
