I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
