just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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