I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
