So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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