lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
