He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
