return my video game
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
