First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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