I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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