I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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