two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
