Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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