I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize