I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
