found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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