NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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