i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
