then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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