He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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