I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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