you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
