Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
