YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
