We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize