If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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