dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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