I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
