i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
