Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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