i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
