he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
