The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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