he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
