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• (425): View more from Washington

  Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.

  (425): View more from Washington

  'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat

  Fav 4 422 243

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?

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