I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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