That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
