he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
