We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize