and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
