dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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