Betty ford says i'm here all night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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