Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
