Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
