it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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