the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
