yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
