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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

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• (714): View more from California

  found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

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• (415): View more from California

  HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  My breath smells like dick and biscuits..

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