i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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