But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
