Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
