I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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