Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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