Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize
