yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
