I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
