Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
