If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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