it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
