Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
