At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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