i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
