I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
3 2 1 whiskey
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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