i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize