i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
