you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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