why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize