My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
