So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
