how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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