omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize