you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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