dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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