I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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