She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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