If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize