good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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