She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
