how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
