i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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